por Lady A

cruelty comes so easy to you
i can tell
i can feel it wrapped around your consonants
tight like a noose that secures freedom to a fate of helplessness

and that you have a field of members of your cult
who learn to be meat on your rotisserie
as you brush sweet heat upon our glazed skin
and make us beg through gags
to the echo of your heels as they click away

heat driven from the constant state of arousal you enforce
an endless, merciless, ordeal that you require of those poor souls who become addicts
of your grace, and even distant interest in us
we, those that have been allowed membership in your lengthy stable
and the poorest of those
of which i am unfortunately one
affording only the smallest scraps of you
and somehow...they are even less merciful than those you attend to more frequently

is it service to suffer greatly?
to be so ravaged by the lust you force us to endure
so desperate that frustration is a breath of fresh air?
wondering if it will ever end?
knowing that please is hardly even a start

gratitude

you are a gift to the world
a clang to many a bell
that makes us rise to be tested
as tools of your will

i am now terrified of your resolve
that you are enforcing adherence
with such strictness
i am unable to fantasize about it ending
only that i must learn to live with this constant torture
my mind and body swelling, raw, sore, frustrated, desperate...in need of you
of your permission
such constant suffering
such intellect required to insist upon its continued execution
do you know what you are doing to me?
making me mush even in your absence
your will sweeping across my skin and thoughts
racking them into your net
and binding me in focused torment

thank you

patience

arousal has little
for its purpose induces want for closure
crumbs before a starving man
grow into mirages of luscious comfort
but it is when hallucinations begin
that need takes on its truest nature
the torture that it is
the flower of want
morphing into wild weeds
that sprout through every orifice
and reach for what the body so desperately needs
attention
from the light that quenches its thirst
when, and if, it honors its subject

tonight

it has been three days since i came
that is unusual for this chronic master of his own masturbation
this is why i need a cruel Woman to take away my orgasms from me
i am way too reckless with them
i dont deserve them
when they are removed, then arousal is a slap in the face
it is something that happens upon your body
wanting its presumed inevitable release
only to be surprised each and every time by a reminder of its denial
a talisman of her doing
a whiff of a promise that she might offer her control of me
and if i were to cum tonight...i would feel that possibility less likely
because how good could a slave be that cannot control himself?
the problem is it makes the lust that much brighter
and my desire to obsess
to be forced to obsess
to be offered the singularity of purpose...arousal through the fixation of her
an aspect of her per day...fetish du jour
its idea sustains me through hours of stroking
on edge and dripping
ever so close...oh so many times
now that i have expressed it...how do i end it
in truth to the spirit of this confessional?
or the weakling that i am?