Sunday, January 22, 2006

days 12,13, & 14...of abstinence

abstinence

sometimes the only choice
a ripe tomato about to fall from its vine
i am a walking piece of swollen meat
my eyes wander up legs
and my ears twitch to staccato struts

ive swallowed my need to bare the time
becoming a slave to normalcy
a submissive is always in service to something
invented games
mind tricks
and those precious and honored times of a Woman's will

kneeling within the frame of your construction
i have found for three days
a hiding place of abstinence
desperation, an achieved goal, set on my mind's mantle
peering into my ache
as i live with it

my face turns bright red
past each whiff of wind from any female with prowess
i am sure they see right through me
i dream of service
to aid in the mitigation of my suffering
given to focus on things even as tantalizing as her will
yet selfless as all service must be

it is a desperate race to the line you have drawn
and i through the pledge of submission
am crawling as fast as i can
all thoughts yielding the puzzle of 'no'
resolution to fate
configuring time in order to make it
enduring till i am there
the threshold given to me
as kneeler to your throne

even this contemplation
as seemingly worthy as i attempt it to be
runs blood to shake my breath
and make me quiver with want
and dizzy with choices that lead nowhere

i am captivated by your mind
and the tension of acknowledged distance
submission to the grace of your pointed finger
seclusion from its view
i rest happily yet tortured by its inventions

the lure of a Female laundry list of creative chaos
a blueprint inflicted upon me
i run like a mouse upon its its white lines
racing to absorb each and every consonant
taste each vowel
as they are dropped inside my box

i am starved for more
as slow as it comes
intoxicated by its density
just wanting what is next
it is my only reward

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