first post

i am shoved into your cyber corner
locked in your little electric closet
a tiny pm box left blank with silence
with only my next stroke to keep me awake
and desperately in need

hours go by
as i aimlessly stare at the screen
hoping you will think of me
and type to me
i realize how pathetic it is
but each glimpse into your mind
each moment of your intellect
takes me further into need's cloak
pushing me deeper into your debt
and wanting more and more of you

and the more i want you
the more you point me towards my fate
a never ending ritual of want
stroke meeting stroke
quenched only by another stroke
and the perpetual denial you keep me in

there do come those moments
when the desire is soo overwhelming
i just want to shout
or cry
or whimper like a puppy
and wish you can hear me
and sometimes i whimper pathetically in your IM box
wishing you knew how hard it was to distrub you
but how i cant control myself sometimes with the need to let you know
what you have done to me

and when you make me deal with your inevitable unmoving resolve
i take a hard gulp
and learn to absorb another level of frustration
hoping i am getting credit for each level in some way
imagining you reading my dire state from afar
omnipotent among my ache
lightly tapping my cage with your mind when you see fit

you make me an animal
a wanton dish
and there is no way out of my cage
for you are too amused

how can it be that i can be kept so
never even a touch
hardly a bother
you knowing just the amount of cruelty to last hours
and the right time to gag me
and lift my dreams
to a new set of maybe's
and probably not's
and barrels of weakness you have rung from my confessions
and scrambled on the floor
like a fetishist shoes
placing me neck high in them

i stroke
and stroke more
and i continue to stroke
and whimper

it is 3 hours now...will this go on?